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The Shepherd and the Sheeple

THE SHEPHERD AND THE SHEEPLE

A PARTING OF WAYS

Breakups in a virtual-gaming team aren't any easier than personal breakups between two people in a relationship. If you've been part of any gaming teams for any amount of time, there's a good chance you've witnessed or been a part of a break up.

Breakups in any circumstance are never a fun experience, but examining the inherent negativity of the topic is an important step in overcoming them.  My true hope in writing this is to help you prepare for your journey as a leader in this community.  As a leader, you will need to handle all types of breakups. From the simplest parting of ways to a vitriolic showdown.

THE BREAKUP

When the time comes that someone on your team wants to break off their relationship with the team, the best outcome would be that everyone involved remains friends and the relationship continues in a different way. However, in my experience this type of amicable outcome is uncommon.

Although I've witnessed some amicable breakups that eventually flowered into productive, competitive relationships, these are rare. Most often, both parties move on in separate directions in life and gaming without having much interaction at all.

Sometimes, breakups can get ugly and be filled with major drama, name calling, infrastructure attacks, malice, and disillusionment. If this type of drama goes unchecked, it will most likely lead to further breakdown of team morale and members will become despondent and apathetic.  In the worst case scenario a team can implode.

My goal in communicating with you about this not-so-fun topic is to 1) let you know that you are not alone and commiserate with you, and 2) help you by providing a proven process to minimize damage to your team from people who want to tear down your good work.

ENTITLEMENT

Over time, I discovered the root cause of these breakups, and it allowed me to develop the leadership culture and processes to counteract it. Like a three-act play, there are many repeating patterns of behavior in these episodes; many of the same character archetypes and responses.

As we dig into this subject together, I want to let you know that despite any and all preparations against these breakups, they still happen. Why? Because the root cause lies in the heart of members who have a deep sense of entitlement about their team, position, or goals.  I think of them as "Burger King" members...they want it their way.

I've been part of six major breakups during my years in TAW, and none were ever easy. In fact, I will tell you that my first major breakup while I was a division leader was downright emotionally painful. Even though we can never truly eliminate people's sense of entitlement and avoid breakups, there are some steps to be taken to minimize the pain for you and your team.  

ROCKY FOUNDATIONS

Over time, TAW as a whole learned that despite all we did to achieve consensus on decisions, sometimes no amount of compromise would prevent someone from attempting to destroy what we were busy building. Over a decade ago, TAW's founder, Omega, relayed a principal from Sun Tzu's The Art of War to me that I never forgot:

"the attacker simply needs to find one weakness while a defender needs to discover and cover them all"

Since its inception in 2001, TAW has experienced tremendous growing pains that resulted in a series of cultural, structural, and procedural changes that are still happening and are a major contributing reason for our continued existence today.  

Back in those distant foundational days, we spent a tremendous amount of time and energy shoring up those holes in our defenses. In the midst of the growing pains, we also consciously cast a vision for ourselves to be the most professional and premier gaming community in existence.

BAPTISM BY FIRE

Here's the backdrop: It was late 2002, I applied to the  the fledgling Battlefield 1942 division and received a boot camp in early 2003 right after Christmas break. At that time, BF was the largest division TAW had fielded with over 65 members. Internet technology was still very new and most members used dial-up landline connections. Online gaming and virtual communities were a very new phenomenon.

Within my first 30 days, a multidivisional contingent of people decided they didn't like how things were going. They convinced many people that TAW was doomed and their team concept was better.

We had three large and stupidly-expensive Battlefield servers that were paid for and managed by a couple members who also decided to leave with the herd. All of the sudden, the BF division had no servers, and the roster of 65 members dwindled down to 12. They succeeded in convincing most members to break off and form a new team. For many days after, flame wars broke out in third-party forums, game servers, and TeamSpeak, etc.

Due to the massive exodus, I was a quickly promoted up to executive officer and  called out by Omega to declare where I stood: Was I with TAW or was I against TAW. This so-called "dot org" struggle was TAW's first large-scale break up. From 2003 through 2008, we experienced a few more.

Omega's iron will coupled with experimentation, hard work, hundreds of hours of talking, and vision-casting carried us through all of the attacks. His determination to create something truly good and lasting pulled us through our baptism by fire.  

THE SHEPHERD AND THE SHEEPLE

I have often witnessed that members who intend to break your team down will typically launch their attack at a time of change. They will use some existential trigger; some reason to begin their program of destruction, and work to sell members on their vision while contriving arguments about how such-and-such situation is your fault.

Often, a coup might be launched after a major event like getting a new battalion officer, or division commander, or possibly after a fundamental change in the game type your team supports, or some other change in the vision, direction, goal, or personnel of the team. These changes can produce a feeling of distrust or uncertainty in some members and will be exploited by the perpetrators.

I have found that most often there are typically one or two ringleaders behind any organized effort to break down or steal a team. These are the ones making the loudest noise, having all the back-channel discussions and enticing members to leave by selling their new guild or clan.  

They will ply members with their scorn on how horrible a particular situation is and how their new guild will be Utopia!  They will attempt to buy members by offering positions of leadership and prestige or by changing their plans and goals if they think people will more easily leave with them.  

Unfortunately, there are always casualties in these exchanges, and I want to make  you aware of the collateral damage: The people who get caught in the no man's land between the struggle of wills. These members, caught in between, who allow themselves to be lead away or become disillusioned, are the sheeple.

Sometimes they go with the new group, happy and content, but inevitably, some will snap out of the fog-cloud shrouding their mind and ask to rejoin us. But, the real casualties are the members that become so discouraged by the drama and nonsense that they never want to be a part of a gaming community again.

WORLD IN CONFLICT

I have another story about one of these incidents. It didn't happen to me directly, but happened to one of my officers.  At the time I was volunteering in a senior management role on the team. At this point, we had 10 game divisions each with many members, and we had recently launched the Vanguard Task Force. Two Task Force Operations (TFO) members, Audie and HUNTER, developed the idea and guidelines around establishing baseline requirements for games to become a division, which we began setting up.

When World In Conflict (WiC) was released, we had a huge influx of members, which we did not anticipate. We were caught off guard because we had tried to launch a few RTS games previously and could never get them to go, but WiC broke all the rules because of its team friendly, in-game infrastructure.

Central Command decided that WiC needed to be one of the teams to start in VG even though things were already set up as a full division. This had no effect on how the team played or how the team worked.  It was a simple administrative / reporting change.

A small group of members, lead by one boisterous outspoken member, decided they didn't like the change. They felt they owned the team. They then proceeded to give my officer and I an ultimatum: Give in to what he wanted or else we should discharge him from the roster.

This player was a well-respected leader on the team, was of consummate skill and had great influence. He was gambling that the threat of his departure would cause us to "shake in our boots" and we would give in to his wishes because he felt we needed him.  

Several sheeple did indeed follow his piper's call, and the officer was totally shocked and felt horrible, like he had somehow let the team down. My officer was green and was ready to capitulate and give in to several of his demands. I, on the other hand, had already been through a few of these showdowns.

I councilled the officer to do a few things: First, immediately discharge the boisterous member from the team roster as he requested, and make sure to kindly thank him for his service. Next, cut off all communications and instruct the rest of the WiC to do the same, and make it clear to the defector that we were moving on. The defector did not expect this exchange; things were not going how he planned.  

He then proceeded to send us a gigantic email after email talking about how if we didn't let him back he was going to take all of our members. He was going to tear the team down. No one responded to him.

In the end, our team went on to live the whole length of the game cycle. The game continued until the developer shut down their servers. The officer built a large and successful team, while the group that flamed out ended up fizzling up and dispersing within 90 days.

Later, I realized that the guy did us a favor in revealing his true nature sooner rather than later. It was better he pulled this stunt before the team become truly large.

POSITIVE ACTION PLAN

So what can you do?  When someone decides to target you, there's not much you can do because they will be working behind your back. But once they strike, there are some simple techniques you can put into action that have been proven time and again to staunch the flow of discord and drama.  

These techniques don't ease the pain, but like an antiseptic, they cleanse those wounds and allow the healing to begin. Note that this is a model of action, and every situation is different.

1. Encourage anyone that wants to join the dissenters to step up and leave with them

Omega calls this the fly-paper effect. Believe me; you want everyone that is even considering leaving to go now. You don't want to get past this episode and begin rebuilding only to find out there is another cell of dissenters that actually wanted to go but weeks or months later decides to take action and go. Sweep them out now.  

Gather up all the dissenters, be nice, cordial, and help them out the door. Why be nice? Because some of them are being led by the nose and don't know it. When they snap out of it, they will come back realizing their mistake.

2. Cease all communications with those that leave

Spread the word among your teammates to cease all communication with the people that left or are leaving. I'm speaking specifically about ceasing communications with those who squawk at you and your team.  

Unfriend them in all social media and chat interfaces. You may have people on your forums and in your game server harassing you and your members. Ban them. Don't respond to any attempts to goad you into a hot-headed response. Rebuke members that respond to the stupidity.

In short, get on with the fun and gaming, and work hard to blackout the drama. This drama saps energy from your leaders and players. Work to cover them and keep it away. Don't respond to those that left except with your silence.

3. Recruit new members.  

Get out and work like never before to get new members in the door. Nothing cures the bad feelings you're having about the whole thing like having a new member see what you have going, and talk about how cool it is and how much they can't wait to get started. This cures a lot.

The nature of turnover in games means that the collective memory of most units is short. In a few months of healthy recruiting, most of the members won't even remember what happened. Also, when there are big losses, it's easy to get into the trap of wishing that things were like how they were before the event happened. If you recruit, those losses are blunted significantly.

IS EVERYONE HAPPY NOW?

While examining the heart of the matter, you will hopefully come to realize at some point that you cannot make everyone happy. If you burn energy trying to satisfy all of the ideas and people on your team individually, you will be run ragged and will end up becoming a tool of people's whims.  

Without a clear vision and a set of goals, you allow yourself to be pulled from one idea to another. That's what really matters at the end of the day:

What is the goal and mission of your team?  

If your decision is in line with your team's goals and vision, then it is the correct decision. (By the way your decision didn't cause the breakup, they used your decision as a trigger.)

ANTISEPTIC

I have been there with you, despairing about players that left. But, I didn't give up. I pressed on and found more players in the end. What happened to those teams that left like they did? Not one single team is still afloat today. TAW?  We're still going and in fact stronger and larger than ever.

This is the only solution I have found to get past these episodes of nonsense. It is brutal and blunt, but it works.   The immutability of this action-response will wear-out your detractors. If you have a vision or goal, and a clear sense of direction and purpose, you will be able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on.

It's a very good idea to inform your chain of command (CoC) when one of these events begin. First, because you need someone to talk to about the event; you should not shoulder the weight alone!

Also, it can be really difficult for officers who are involved to have the objectivity they need to act in the moment, and especially in the aftermath. Having CoC support can bolster confidence and assist in rebuilding as well. A mutiny can be very heart-wrenching and emotional, and it helps to have the backup of someone who is not as emotionally invested to help you see things clearly and have the authority to act decisively on your behalf.

Why does this really happen? Every situation is different, but I believe they happen from time to time because some people don't have the courage or ingenuity to build something themselves, they just want to tear apart what you have built and believe they built it themselves.  

Most of them will find that when they build something on a foundation of hate or dislike, the negatively-charged emotional foundation will pass, and they will be left without a cause, and their team will dissipate into the electronic aether.

Carry on, soldier.  

Follow your purpose.  

Don't give up.